to everyone i've ever known

I miss when we would lay in the grass in the cold and stare up at the stars and I miss the night you watched for my first shooting star with me and I miss when we ran around barefoot on our skateboards and I miss the nights when you would play your guitar over the phone to me and I miss staying the night at your house and your shampoo smelled like oatmeal and honey do you remember I remember I miss hugging in the parking lot in the glow of the streetlight and I miss when you held me close and I felt your breath and your warm chest on my cheek and I miss when we drove around and had tacos and I miss when we discussed The Road and you helped me pull out my thesis do you remember I remember I miss your tea party when we had tea and cookies and played drawing games and ate too many cookies and I miss staying the night at your house and when we woke up it smelled like coffee cake that your mum made and I miss that night you did cartwheels and the carpet was rough do you remember I remember I miss walking in my new dress with the wind and the cold biting at our lips and teeth and how we gritted against it and I miss watching you graze and I miss watching you sleep and I miss when we talked about falling in love and I miss when I felt your hair in my hands and I did it all up in a braid and I miss when you made me laugh so hard I thought my stomach would burst do you remember I remember I miss when you pushed me around in the wheelchair that day and you picked me a daisy and you said the little old woman from that Charlie Chaplin film reminded you of me do you remember I remember and I miss watching you dip your croissants in hot chocolate, always two of them, I miss talking about botany with you do you remember I remember I miss when we fought over Marxism and when we went for coffee and when we talked about religion and I miss when you caught my eye when you were on that stage and you were playing that song and I knew everything would be okay and I miss that day you didn’t want your hot dog so I ate it because I wasn’t vegetarian yet and I miss making you sandwiches and teaching you colors do you remember I remember I miss running on the beach that one night and knowing you were there and I was here and still feeling you deep in the pit of my stomach I wish you could remember I remember do you remember why don’t you remember