(my very favorites)
it's another one of those days, where i had strange dreams, where i want to curl up with a kitten, good music, and a never-ending supply of tea (but must work on papers, of course), where i question my own sanity, my own naivety, my own ability. i am endlessly fascinated, endlessly loyal, endlessly curious, and yet, continuously make mistakes. i feel so slow in it all, as though the world is passing me by before i get the chance to catch up. as soon as i am here and ready, it is there and over and done. i am losing sight of whatever pursuit, holding onto dreams of mountain ranges and pine trees, coffee shops and bookstores in the rain. i want to live simply, my brain says, i want to hole up until someone who understands my own longing, who has the same longings, embraces me in all my messy asymmetry. i want to feel alright and do alright and be alright.
in my dreams, you finally said the words i so desperately needed to hear, let me off gently, honestly, truthfully. we both knew. i don't know why i held on for so long.
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